


Falling Down Around Me

by servecobwebheadaches



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Drabble, Fluff Fic, M/M, One Shot, Ryden, Rydon, Short, a bit of angst, canonical, fever era, mainly fluff, ryden fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-16 23:57:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4644828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/servecobwebheadaches/pseuds/servecobwebheadaches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He's leaving the band," Ryan whispered.  "I think I just kicked him out."  He covered his face with his hands.</p><p>"That doesn't mean the band's 'falling apart,' " Brendon soothed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling Down Around Me

**Author's Note:**

> Title from C'mon by Fun. and Panic! At The Disco

Spencer and Brendon stood across the hallway from each other, listening closely to the argument outside the tour bus door. It was Brent and Ryan, yelling back and forth. Yelling. Ryan never yelled. It was quite shocking for Spencer and Brendon.

The argument ended with a particularly loud statement from Ryan: “Then get out of my band!” Ryan stormed back into the bus, past Spencer and Brendon, leaving the door swinging open behind him. He fled to the bunks, overly long scarf trailing in his wake. The two in the hallway heard the curtain of his bed ruffle shut, and then fling open again. Ryan appeared in the doorway again, but only to close the thin door. He didn't so much as glance at Spencer and Brendon.

Brendon stared at Spencer in silence, somewhat intimidated by Ryan's outburst. But it would take more than Ryan yelling at Brent to completely shut Brendon down. "Should I—?" He quietly asked Spencer.

Spencer nodded. "Go ahead."  
Brendon walked to the door that lead to the bunks and help up his hand, about to knock, but deciding against it at the last second. He slowly pushed the door open, immediately closing it behind him.

"Not right now," Ryan mumbled, not looking out from the closed curtain, not realizing who it was that just walked in the room.

Brendon cleared his throat, hesitating. "Um—can we talk about this tomorrow, then, before—"

The flimsy curtain folded back by a single corner, and Ryan's eyes peeked out from the other side. "Brendon?" He asked, in his completely normal tone, without any hint of irritation.

"Hi," Brendon said, with a sad smile. He climbed into Ryan's bunk, pulling the curtain closed again, just in case Spencer or anyone were to walk in. He sat at the foot of Ryan's bed, observing the setup of the space. It was dark, aside from the cracks of light that seeped from under the curtain, and the glow the screen of Ryan's laptop gave off. Beside the laptop balanced over Ryan's crossed legs, there was an open bag of chips and an unopened Vitamin Water. He had headphones around his neck, connected to the laptop.

"I'm guessing you want me to tell you what just happened," Ryan murmured.

"Only if you want to."

Ryan closed his laptop, and tipped his head back with a shaky sigh. When he looked back at Brendon, there were tears in his eyes.

"Baby, are you okay?" Brendon asked, reaching for Ryan's hand.

"Oh, yeah, sure, I'm completely fucking fine. It's not like this band's falling apart or anything, in the middle of a tour. This can't be happening," he said, tears falling down his cheeks.

Brendon didn't even flinch at the harshness in Ryan's voice. "What's going on?" He asked, concerned.

Ryan bit his lip. "I should let Brent tell you."

"You can tell me anything, you know that," Brendon said.

“He’s leaving the band,” Ryan whispered. “I think I just kicked him out." He covered his face with his hands.

"That doesn't mean the band's 'falling apart,'" Brendon soothed. Brendon couldn't tell if Ryan was hiding his face because he was crying, or if he just didn't want to look at Brendon. "It's not surprising, really. You've been getting mad at Brent for awhile now, and . . ."

Audible sobs were coming from Ryan. Brendon had only seen Ryan cry once before, and that was when Pete Wentz announced he was signing them. Those were tears of joy, and the whole band had been quite a bit teary. But this was different. Ryan was miserable. His crying was different, different than any crying Brendon had ever heard. Ryan's crying was quiet, only wisps of his voice coming out in sharp inhales. Brendon thought it was like Ryan was still trying to hold back tears, which was pointless.

"Fuck it, then, Brendon. We'll talk about what this means, later. This shouldn't be such a surprise for me? Well, it is. You can't just—call me 'baby' one minute and then—oh, I've screwed myself over. I'm the one who told Brent to leave and—"

Ryan hadn't spoken to Brendon like that, that harshly, in over a year.

"Cut the shit and tell me exactly what's going on," Brendon demanded, interrupting Ryan.

"I didn't—when I told Brent to leave, I didn't think . . . About what it meant. With you defending Brent this whole time, I guess you're right, I shouldn't be surprised."

"Ryan?"

"Spencer and I—we can't continue this tour without you, we can't continue this band. Are you just going to leave right now, or will you stick around through the tour?"

Brendon's stomach twisted. He pushed himself away from Ryan. "You're doing this to yourself! Firing two of your members during tour, what did you think was going to happen?"

"Firing you? Now we're both confused. I thought—with you always defending Brent, and having been best friends with him for such a long time—that you would only stay if he was in the band, and now he's leaving. And we've both said that leaving the band meant leaving each other . . ."

"I'm not leaving the band!" Brendon said, and it was louder than he meant for it to be. "And I'm not leaving you!"

Ryan blinked a few times, eyes tearing up again. Brendon looked down, fiddling with the ankle of Ryan's jeans. "Ryan? I love you."

They started flirting with each other three years before, shared their first kiss a year ago, but the words, "I love you," had not been passed between them. Upon comprehending that Brendon had said it, Ryan burst into tears again. It wasn't taken as rejection or anger or shock; it was too many emotions spilling over at once.

Brendon crawled up and squished himself between Ryan and the bunk's wall. "Hey, hey, don't cry," Brendon said quietly, twisting his fingers in Ryan's hair. Ryan buried his face in Brendon's shoulder and sobbed. Brendon kept stroking his hair, comforting kisses placed atop Ryan's head.

"I love you too," Ryan choked out. He clung to Brendon's arm like his life depended on it.

"Shh, shh, everything's okay," Brendon whispered.

Ryan nodded but didn't stop crying.

Brendon didn't know how long it was before Ryan calmed down and fell asleep. Cradling Ryan's head and neck with one arm, he carefully found Ryan's cell phone by his laptop. With his free arm, he texted Spencer: "Hey it's Brendon mind bringing me my phone? Maybe a pillow and blanket? Be quiet Ryan's asleep we're in his bunk."

Without a reply, the door to the bunks slowly opened. Spencer discreetly peeled the curtain back and handed Brendon his phone, pillow, and blanket one at a time. Spencer gave a small smile and a thumbs up. Brendon lipped, "Thank you," and turned his focus back to Ryan. He put the new pillow on top of the one that was already in the bunk, and gently rested Ryan's head down. He took off Ryan's long scarf and neatly put it at the end of the bed. Ryan stirred and quietly sighed but didn't wake up.

Brendon wasn't going to climb over Ryan to get out of the bunk and risk waking him up, so he stayed at Ryan's side through the night.


End file.
